“Fly, you fools!”
Why must we leave the narcissist? Simply because the narcissist has brought us to our knees and made us choose; between him and ourselves. His destructive behaviors are killing our spirits. We must get out, to save and rebuild our lives, our souls. So much of our “self” has already been lost in the hopeless struggle to make the narcissist “see the light”.
If we remain close to him, hoping against hope, that he will change, there will be nothing left of us at all. We’d turn into a shell of our former selves, a wraith, only serving its Dark Master.
How do we leave the narcissist?
By making a commitment to ourselves, to focus on ourselves, and to move forward. By leaving him behind. In the process, we must be cutting all ties, all lines of communication with the narcissist. Change phone number, block e-mail, Facebook, etc. This is known as No Contact.
To sever all ties is not easy but it can be done. It must be done, if we are serious about saving ourselves and getting to a place of happiness again.
It’s wise to be prepared for the narcissist trying to get to you, in some way. He can not tolerate anyone escaping his rule. He must prove he has the power over you, lest his whole Kingdom be threatened.
A few words of caution
To successfully detach from your abuser, I want to stress that you can not have any shred of contact, including but not limited to; *secretly checking their social media, *having mutual friends talk to you about your former abuser, “mediate” etc. Anyone who can’t respect your decision of No Contact, is not your friend, and you might have to “blacklist” them, if they keep it up.
Protect your peace of mind
The reason No Contact must be implemented in such an “extreme” way, is that a narcissist is dangerous for your health, much like drug addiction. Go cold turkey. You need to put yourself in Narc Rehab, and never even so much as look at the drug again.
Don’t linger in the Grey Havens, get on the ship and sail west!
***Please be advised, if there are threats or physical violence, or if you fear that, call the police and the women’s shelter and make a safety plan.
Further inspiration and strength
I recommend an excellent blog post/article on the blog/website of Kim Saeed, if you want further and deeper understanding about No Contact and the challenges of it, read it: Here.
*All LOTR images are: copyright, and owner’s rights of New Line Productions, Inc.