So, here’s the plan. As you know by now, I’m pretty tired of being stuck in the grieving of the nightmare/illusion of the last 4 years with the narcissist. So, here’s what I’ll do.
Nothing fancy, just a few steps I will force myself to work on. Even if I’m sad, exhausted, and fearing I’ll end up a Crazy Cat Lady and whatnot.
- Start working out! I know when I do that, I really do feel better, about everything. I had a period where I worked out a lot, got my confidence back etc. (And boom, then came a narc hoover from Hell.)
- Work on changing things around my job. (Or I’ll probably get really sick from stress soon) Already looking into that, got an interview this week, yay me!
- Think up a hobby/social activities where I can meet more people, I know I feel better in those periods when I have a more active social life. (I’ll focus on working out first though, to regain my energy levels).
- Blogging, keeping that up, getting it all out of my system. It’s my therapy.
- When I feel I’m ready, I will start dating again. Only casual dating at first. I’ve been formally out of the relationship with narc for a year. (Not counting that I was in the narcissistic harem, that doesn’t count for me, I was grieving then, too. Future post!). Even if I am much too scared to be serious with a new man at once, I am starting to long for someone just to flirt/text with. You know, a little fling!
I feel I will not pressure myself with any of these things, but I will do as much as I can to work on them in the near future. Nothing special really, it just feels positive and healthy to try and look forward and see a future where I’m more healed than now.
The weird thing is, I still have this knot in my stomach, about the hoovers. I know this person, and I know there will most likely come hoovers (letters) again in future. Also likely that they will become more angst-filled and with more “proclamations of love” again, if I don’t respond. (Remember my post;It Was The Worst Of Times)? How he escalated his expressions of love and remorse until I fell for the trick…
I must become The Ice Queen towards him. I must remember, That Person Does not have Empathy! So then why should I have empathy for his crocodile tears… Right? Did you ever make yourself an Ice Queen/King, towards someone? How did you succeed? Give me your wisdom.😉