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I have chosen my animal! Or it has chosen me! A few days ago, I started thinking more and more that I should choose an animal that represents me. Why did I get that crazy idea? Perhaps due to the fact I knew this would be a time I needed additional strength. The kind of strength you find in the animal kingdom. One goal – survival.

And then I read a beautiful blog post by a fellow blogger who was speaking about his inner lizard. And that gave me the push to finally choose my animal. It is: the lynx. Especially the kind that lives in my Northern part of the world.

Why? Several things; * its name means: light/bright/to shine,  * it roams solitary, * it’s beautiful, * it’s shy, * it’s an expert at hiding, * it rarely attacks unless threatened… and  * I’ve always felt “feline” in my spirit… maybe that’s why I’ve been living with my pet cat for 17 years. A weird coincidence is that my mr. Cat at home is a “distant relative” to the lynx, he is a Norwegian forest cat, complete with the characteristic black tufts of hair on his ears! (But in mini-version of the lynx’s!).

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Narcissist is now using “the pity ploy”, commonly used tactic when hoovering back their victim

So, anyway, I got another “hoover” from narc, today. I’d totally forgotten to block his new e-mail account. So it slipped through. This time, his message meant to touch my sense of pity: “Please, sweetie, can’t you respond? Would do anything to have you here 🙁 Miss you like crazy! How are you managing this? (Insert my pet name here).” So as you see, he ups the ante, like I predicted a while back…

  • (What does my inner beast have to do with Narc? Yes, you see…. )

I will use my lynx now… her ability to stealthily escape will come in handy. I have a plan already. Previously, it wasn’t possible to get my own e-mail address through work, since I was on consultant basis. So I had to use my private e-mail, for all work connections…. But I pushed the matter. So now they think they can give me an e-mail account at the firm. Then I can shut down my old, private e-mail account!

That is the first step in my escape route – I call this part of the plan: “running through the river, making the pursuer lose my scent“. What comes later in the plan, I don’t know… Narc still knows where I live. If he doesn’t get a response by e-mail, he usually sends regular letters… that is a problem. But, a problem of the future, which hasn’t happened yet, so I won’t worry about it now. Because now, I have a victory to celebrate: Never before (as far back as I can remember) have I withstood three hoovers in a row, like this! Something certainly is changing inside of me! A new strength… I’ve never felt before. The lynx inside is purring… (yes, they do that, just like regular cats! 🙂 ) Take care, friends! 💜

The Word of late Sunday: Victory

(Images: Flickr, 1: Cloudtail,2:Darren Kim)