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Full Definition of regroup

  1. :  to form into a new grouping <regroup military forces>

  2. 1:  to reorganize (as after a setback) for renewed activity

  3. 2:  to alter the tactical formation of a military force

I’ve been going about this dating thing all wrong. Time to regroup. Change strategy. I will be a strict general, and treat myself as an unruly bunch of new recruits that need to be broken in! (In The Army Now)

Don’t get me wrong, I am in no way implying that I am some sort of hero on the frontline, like actual soldiers. I respect their efforts in the world way too much, to compare myself to them. I mean, I must get inspiration from their courage, and above all: strategy. I’ve been lazy, “flower power”, way too “out there”, just sort of… floating around, expecting things to “happen”, while not actually putting in the proper work to put the wheels in motion. Why is that? Oh… that’s another post in itself, (which I may post later this week).

The main thing here is, I have to be more active. Being laid back is all fine and dandy in some aspects of life, and in theory when it comes to dating. But it just won’t do, when it comes to the dating jungle. Now that I’ve seen some of it…. oh boy, I tell you, there is a lot of jungle and weeds to cut through, if I’m ever gonna get to those beautiful meadows by the beach, where some sort of prince is awaiting me. (Yes, I know he will be flawed and human, but he will be a prince to me, anyway).

In the spirit of sharing experiences, like MissEvangelista and Laurel, I will share just a few examples of the men who have “approached me” on the dating site, when I have been this passive, lazy girl. Just for you to see, how this is really NOT working out, for me:

  1. NiceEnoughGuy, sends a “mass e-mail” message. I look at his profile. There’s a photo of a snake, in his backyard. How do you ever think you’re going to attract women with the help of snakes? (I hate snakes, they’re the scum of the earth to me, I get sick looking at them, uhm, hello, the Bible story might have been onto something? Oh, you missed that story, did you? Mmmmkay…). It did not help that in some of his photos he had a “serial killer smile”…  I am ok going home alone after a date, but not in a body bag.
  2. ManOfFewWords. Haven’t written a single word in his presentation. When he writes me, I reply: “Thank you for the interest. It was too bad that you didn’t have a presentation, it is sort of hard to know anything about you. (Hint, hint, take the freaking hint!) Have a great evening.”  The reply: “Well, just ask me anything you want”. Um… well, maybe I don’t feel like wasting my time asking you things that you should already have put up on your profile, as a courtesy, to not waste people’s time….  (I didn’t even reply to that).
  3. Mr.Assymetry. Now, this one, I feel really bad about! His approach was quite nice, humble, gentle. I will not make fun of him at all. He seemed to be a nice person. But. There is a superficial side to all of us, isn’t there? I mean… you do have to be attracted to someone. And whilst this guy seemed to be in shape, (a lot more than I am!) his face was all…. crooked.. lopsided. Everywhere you looked, it was just… wrong. Now, don’t get me wrong, I know that most people have assymetry in their faces, so do I, a little bit. But this was… I don’t know. I really tried to think if I could get over that, or not… since he seemed nice (AND: he wanted children! 🙁 …   ) But nope, I just… couldn’t. Sorry, Mr. Assymetry!

So, the new strategy is simply this. I will spend much less time at the dating site, while the time I spend there, will be more effective, doing things that actually may work. Now, I know I sound sort of like an international corporation, but, I am okay with that. I am not okay with wasting any more time. I want the dating thing to be fun, but also efficient. I  want action! So, I will follow the advice of many, and be more active myself. I will use the “match” button and read through the profiles that appear, to see if anyone seems interesting. If so, I will conquer all my fears of rejection, and I will initiate contact myself. It has apparently been proved even in research, as I recently learned on a blog, that women have much more chance of success on dating sites, the more active they are in initiating contact. Otherwise, if they remain passive, odds are (according to research), they will also remain date-less or unhappy with the people that do inititate contact with them.

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(Image1: US marinecorps/Flickr, 2:quickmeme.com)