I’ve considered it, but… I know. I know it’s wrong. But my mind slips back there all the time, and it would be so comfortable, if I could just ghost a person right now…
I am talking about man no. 2, from my latest dating post from about a week ago(?). Not even I can remember, so I won’t expect you to remember… Anyway, there was this man, I call him simply “man no. 2”, who I said a tentative yes to, to have a date with a bit later on. (Next weekend). You remember now? Some of you were enthusiastic about it… Ring a bell? 🙂
We have been sending messages back and forth, almost daily. So what’s the problem, why do I want to ghost him? 1) His messages are SO boring. He says that it’s nice weather outside and so on. 2) Lack of reciprocity: He answers my questions, but doesn’t ask things back, about me. Since reciprocity is a really big deal to me, after a narcissistic relationship, this bothers me. Sure, on the bright side, he has given me a couple of compliments, but it doesn’t really make up for the negative aspects I mentioned here.
I learned something though. I played this all wrong. I shouldn’t have said even a tentative yes to a date with this man. It was too quick. What I should have said was a more clear message: “Let’s keep chatting for these 2 weeks, and get to know each other better, and then we can see, if we both still want to set up that date”. As it is now, in his mind we have a date the coming weekend. He has even said he looks forward to it. But I am regretting my “half yes”, now! I really do not want to meet a person who can not make more of an effort than he’s been making…
Ghosting someone is an awful thing to do. We should avoid it, if we have had some sort of connection with someone, or made plans with them, etc. It is better to be brave, take a deep breath and just write a short, kind explanation. So I will put on my big girl panties and do that right now, before I waste any more of this man’s time, or mine. I will keep it simple, say something like: “I’ve been giving it some thought, and I do not believe we would click, after all. I’m sorry. You seem like a nice person though. I wish you luck in your continued dating. Be well”.
The only time it is ok to ghost someone you’ve had a connection with, in my eyes, is if you have a legitimate reason. What that is, is up to you to decide… but, could have to do with things like your safety, or someone doesn’t really “take a hint”, etc. Then it is completely ok to ghost someone, I believe. But, “man no. 2”, has given me no legitimate reason for ghosting him. His only fault is that he is as boring and generic as my nickname for him!
(Image: Supernatural. /Fanpop)