I don’t mean I want to give them “an offer they can’t refuse” like in “The Godfather”, or any other way of disposing of them, that you would expect to see in “Goodfellas” (insanely good movie, by the way, right)?

No. I mean, how to get rid of someone who is starting to annoy you, on a dating site. Yes. Sigh. I am there again. This time is not as bad as the last time. That is, this guy is not trying to get me to be “exclusive” with him, in the cyber world, like my previous “cyber boyfriend” wanted me to… (if you remember him). But this guy, The Pen Pal, is starting to annoy me. (You know, The Pen Pal, who lives across the country?) We’ve been sending messages back and forth for a month. I’ve no idea why, really, cause we will obviously never be a couple, being that none of us want to move. Had he lived in my city though, I would have gone on a date with him, just to “go see”. The main reason is that he has got a hot body. I am not ashamed to say that. Yes, women have physical needs, too. We should be able to admit that and not feel ashamed of it. Some women do still feel ashamed of it. I say we shouldn’t feel that way! We have as much right to have sex when we want, as men do. (If you do not agree with this view, I can recommend you an amazing book: Simone de Beauvoir: The Second Sex). Wow. I digress.

Back to The Pen Pal. 

He has started to “expect things of me”. I don’t know, I just find that sort of odd, for when you don’t have a real, committed relationship. When you haven’t even met in real life, just written some messages back and forth, without promises. Granted, the things he expects do seem harmless. They still annoy me though.

Recently, he wrote something about being “disappointed” that I wasn’t online one day, and ended it with some sad smiley. You could interpret that in different ways, but to me, the way it was written, with nothing else written after, it seemed sort of weird. I had never said I would be online. And the other day, there was another, similar thing. He said he was going on a trip. I just wrote “Have a nice trip” and some pleasantries. He then replied: “Well, does that mean we aren’t going to talk for X days/weeks”? His trip apparently wasn’t supposed to happen until then. I rolled my eyes as I saw that message.

The thing is, I have previously, a couple of weeks ago, tried to politely withdraw myself from this contact, by writing that it was too bad we lived so far away from each other, but wishing him good luck with dating. But no, he stuck around, kept on sending messages, so I went with it, cause it could be fun.

It’s not fun anymore. It only feels like a waste of my time messaging back and forth with someone who lives so far away and that I will never meet. He will never move here, and I will never move there. And he’s a bit of a douche/arrogant, frankly, haha, when he suggested that I come visit him. And then he evaded the question, when I said he could come here, instead..

So, I need to get rid of him. The question is how? I am still so bad at this. Can you give some suggestion of a polite way of saying goodbye? I have already tried the “slow fading”, by taking longer to reply, writing shorter messages, etc. He’s not taking the hint! And I don’t wanna have to call mr. De Niro…. 😉


(image: Warner Bros)