Update: While I was away on my wonderful trip, I got “rogue attacked” by the ex narcissist. He was replying (by text) to something that wasn’t important/happened a while back. I quickly realized he did this only to make sure he was still in control of me. I expressed disgust and said I would switch off my mobile phone – awaiting to get a new phone which has features that can hold him at bay (blocker apps), and I told him so. He lamented this fact once. Then something strange happened. 

The narc started to be cordial in our exchanges: “he only ever wanted what was best for me”, and “He only ever wanted to make me happy”. And, OH, the gold medal:  When I answered and discussed his past behaviors etc: He felt that it was “so much nicer to send nice texts”…so that is why he “always does that”. Now, I obviously couldnt’ let that slide, so I sent back a message saying something along the lines of: “Nice text messages doesn’t make somebody a nice person. I know all of what you have done, which proves to me you are a cruel person, unfortunately. You haven’t shown any will to change, in four years, so I’m turning off my phone, until I get a new one, with a blocker app. Have a happy life, good luck”….I also wrote that talking to him is like talking to a wall.

Can you imagine what reply I got, once I switched on the phone 48 hours later? “There is no wall, just as long as you are nice“. (My underlining). 

Oh. So it’s MY fault, all over again, huh? The narcissist is once again laying everything on ME. It’s obvious that he’s trying to turn my attention from all the shit he’s done, etc. Not buying it, at all. Am SO grateful my new phone (another “smartphone”, will come this week. It will have blocker apps. HIS is the first and only name so far, that I will put in, immediately, for blocked calls + texts! Yay!)

I can’t say I am completely unaffected though, by his texts. Manipulative as they are, several of them are “begging” in their nature. “I DO miss you”….. “It’s too bad you’re not here, but have a wonderful time out there!”…. “You say you loved me sincerely, well I did that too.. and I really do miss you , you know..”.

There is only ONE thing I can say to all his BS….  It’s BS! (And I DON’T reply anymore; I just think of this song, instead, and what it really means… Symbolic of what I went through).I highly recommend this video, to anyone who’s ever wanted anyone they can’t have, eventually. This is an absolutely wonderful video and love song!  One of the best ever, on this theme. (This is completely different from any older versions, and it is GREAT! Describes this sort of “unrequited” love, to a T!). Love/ Survived 💜