What a crazy week it has been! I AM Mr. Robot, let me tell you! Wow. I have been behaving exactly like him, hell, I have been him, this last week. Meaning, sneaking about in a hoodie jacket, (yes, it’s true!) sitting at my computer hacking away. (No, I have NOT been hacking anything, in case CIA is watching me online… it was a joke, alright?).
It’s more like, I’ve been in my own little bubble with my computer, trying to figure out all the stuff of setting up
my own site. It’s far from perfect/finished, but that’s good, gives me something to do. What’s crazy is how obsessed I became with trying to learn all the functions and just wanting more, more, more. Truly addicive, once you get started working on your own site…So great to see it all take shape.
If you’re wondering what I’m on about, with Mr. Robot, it’s one of the absolute best drama Tv series, in the last 10 years! “Low intensive” drama, great dialogue, superb actors! Main character Elliot, who you see here in pics, is an IT-guy who wants to revolutionize the world and all that’s wrong with it. Sounds pretty neat, right? Oh, he also deals with substance abuse, mental health issues, and loneliness! Go, go, watch!).
So, as you can understand, I AM Mr. Robot now. Well, alright, I don’t “do drugs” like him, and I don’t exactly have the kind of mental health issues he has… BUT, I can relate so much to his personality. His loneliness, his way of seeing the world, wanting to change it… And of course, now also my budding hacking skills. (Still a joke, CIA! If you’re still reading this. Don’t you got some bigger fish to fry than Survived_Narc? 😉 )
It was hilarious, because just as I sat down to write this post, I thought: Well, I’m not really like Mr. Robot… I don’t “write code” for my site. And then I found something in the site I couldn’t change in any easy way, so found myself googling tutorials on how to learn to “write code” (a kind of programming), for your site! I had to smile…
What is especially wonderful about the last week’s obsession with working on my new website, is that Mr. AssClown’s shenanigans haven’t bothered me that much. I’m Mr. Robot, remember, so I don’t care? It’s like: “Oh, oh, so you’re trying to rattle me, huh? Trying to break me, oh yeah? Give it your best shot, tough guy!”.
Or, it’s not even like that, cause I’ve been so caught up in learning all these new things, that I have basically shrugged, when I have seen that Narc AssClown has tried to hoover. And it hasn’t been once, he’s tried about 6 times, in the last week……….
This new “cool” of mine is almost frightening to me. I am usually a complete wreck after every “hoovering” attempt the narcissist does. I have 2-3 theories about my new “cool”:
1) I’m in complete denial about myself being an emotional wreck deep down from the hoovers, and all those emotions will come crashing down, soon. (New post will come ofc, if that happens!).
2) I’ve been so god damn BUSY, so I haven’t had time to think about AssClown. I’ve simply been too busy, living MY life, doing things that I enjoy, to even notice the narcissist and his antics. This is an old theory of mine; that I just have to become more active in my life, do things which interest me and which I enjoy! Great that I am finally taking steps towards that. (Am doing it in other ways too, but will talk more about that later in the summer).
And finally, 3): Doing something that I enjoy, and finding that I can overcome a great challenge, and learn a lot of new things, has given me a beginning to that restored self-confidence I’ve needed for so long! The type of self-confidence that can make me think: Wow, I’m pretty great! Why would I need an AssClown in my life?
(Now, you might think: How can you get such self-confidence from building a website? I’m telling you, if you have never built a website/have no computer know-how… And if you’re on wordpress.com, going self hosted/building your own site is a MAJOR challenge! It takes endurance and patience, like I could never have expected. Luckily, it is fun, too! Very creative and rewarding work. 😀 ).
So, yes, all in all, a great week, actually! Now, remember: if you want to be sure not to miss any of my new blog posts from now on, I really recommend you to sign up for email notifications at my site. Right down at the bottom of my new website: http://survivednarc.com (Just type in your email address, in a box).
Just so great to be back to the actual writing part of the blogging, again! I really missed you guys this last week. I promise to do my very best to catch up on reading all your wonderful blogs! Will be back soon again and perhaps talk a little more about our favorite stalker, a.k.a Hero, a.k.a Narc AssClown.
P.S. If anyone has got superb “Mr. Robot – level” WordPress webdesign skills, feel free to holler. It would be so nice to have someone other than my constant “tech support chat” guy (at my webhost), to talk to about these things. (His name is… Ioano.. or something. (What is it with IT-guys and strange names, right?)
Can you believe he replies to my chat when I’ve been awake at 01.30 a.m. to ask him something? I’m feeling a friendship there…. ha ha! Just kidding. I’m paying him. He’s great though.
Also, if anyone is thinking about going self hosted, feel free to ask me for some pointers. (However, I am not Mr. Robot. 🙂 I can only give general advice, not much technical advice).
See you soon, lovelies!