I can’t believe myself. What the hell am I doing… ? Must have gone completely mad. Bonkers. Loca.

I am sexting with someone! Well, not technically, since we are talking through a website. But still. Something I’d never see myself doing in a million years, I’m now doing, and enjoying…. Talking about S-E-X, with a stranger….. And not just any stranger.

He is all wrong! For one, he is twentyfive. Hello, twentyfive?! 12 years younger than me… sigh. He lives across country, so seeing him will be a major project. (Seeing him, oh really, SurvivedNarc?!)

He has great arms. By great, I mean, perfect. By perfect, I mean big and strong and beautiful.

He has great eyes, green and with that gaze of a wolf... you know? That glittering, naughty gaze that someone has when they are full of lust, joy and mischief. He has that look. The look that is the most dangerous thing a woman could ever come across.

Who else had that look, that piercing gaze? Yes, mr. X. My long lost great love. That look made me fall so hard, so deep, that it almost killed me, when I lost him.

Sigh.

I am actually enjoying our little chats in text form. I feel very attracted to this, this…. person.

Who is he, to come and disturb my peace like this?!

I was perfectly content to live a calm existence. Not a life, but an existence, at least.

It was calm and peaceful, sailing on a grey, misty, boring and sad ocean, where the skies are grey, the waters are grey, not more than a mild breeze, that doesn’t even make a curl on the water… but you know you are safe.

And now this. This storm with glittering rays of sun in between, these waves, this completely unruly and wild ocean, hurling me here and there, in my little vessel.

I blame the “skin hunger”. (Yes, it’s a thing, according to scientists. Apparently, you can almost get sick if you never feel the skin of another human being).

I can already feel the (futile?) effort I will have to put in, to not get any stupid “feelings”, for this person. I will start by naming him “Mr. Wrong”, here on the blog, so as to remind myself of the fact that he is all wrong.

The one thing I am glad for, is that these stupid chats with him has made me forget almost completely about the narcissist, these last few days. Thanks for that, Mr. Wrong! I really appreciate it, I do.

So, feel free to follow and see how this utterly ridiculous story will end….

Love/SurvivedNarc