What’s the deal with “spying” on someone YOU dumped? Anyone knows? I logged into the dating site today, as I have done a few times the last few days. There’s been no sign of Mr. Wrong, until TODAY…
Suddenly, he had visited my profile again. Who knows why? I try to shrug it off, but I really can’t. Not truly. I want to know why he does it. When we were really hitting it off through this last month or so, I know he would frequently visit my page. And I knew it was simply the fact that he wanted to SEE me. Like, look at my photos and dream of me, of our meeting. That sort of thing.
The reason I know that is, I do the same, when I really like someone. Even if we already have an ongoing “thread” of messages, so that I don’t really “have to” visit their site, I go to their profile anyway, just to see their photos, and “dream” a bit….
This brings me back to a strange conversation I had this weekend with a female acquaintance. We were out partying, and I told her the story of Mr. Wrong and how it had failed and all that. And, to my surprise, she said she has the very same problems that Mr. Wrong claimed to have…. that is, “introverted person almost bordering social phobia”, and periodic depressions.
HER take was completely different from all others’ opinions. SHE thought I should “fight” for Mr. Wrong one more time. That I should send him a message, to really try and get through his “shell”, that she claims she also has, whenever someone tries to get close to her. She said: “he is probably sitting at home right now, hating himself for pushing you away. And his self-loathing probably just deepened, after pushing you away”. She claimed she had done the same as he did, many times over, as soon as someone got “too close” to her. That the depression and the social phobia etc, “takes over”, and goes against what the person “really wants”.
I was very skeptical of all this, and said I appreciated what she was telling me, but that my energy was not up to fixing someone else’s “mess”, and that Mr. Wrong, if he really wanted to, would have to work extremely hard to fix his own mess. She understood, and said: Yes, that is what all of us with these conditions face, and it is not fair of us to ask others to clean up our messes…
Anyway, of course I am not going to write anything to Mr. Wrong. But, I am thinking of being exactly as “weird” as he is. That is, I’ll visit his profile, just as he did mine. As a spy…. and not say anything, at all…
This almost makes me laugh, like, it’s so ridiculous, you know? Isn’t this sort of like when you made “prank calls” when you were younger? (Before internet, I guess…..).
I found the term “an ex-almost” somewhere, when you’re not really an “ex-boyfriend/girlfriend”, but when you came really close to that status, somehow….
This is a cold war between ex-almosts, and I don’t intend to back down.
You visit my profile, I visit yours. What you gonna do about it, huh?
But, on a more serious note, why would YOU go visit the profile of someone you “dumped”?
What’s the point, really?
/The Rookie of The Dating League